Fear

Well, as promised, I did go and think about fear. For something that is not alien to me, it is oddly hard to get a read on fear. Apparently, I'm not the only one who's not at home with the topic. This is www.merriam-webster.com's definition.

Main Entry: ¹fear

Pronunciation: \ˈfir\

Function: verb

Etymology: Middle English feren, from Old English fǣran, from fǣr

Date: before 12th century

transitive verb

1 archaic : frighten
2 archaic : to feel fear in (oneself)
3 : to have a reverential awe of
4 : to be afraid of : expect with alarm I looked it up just now, not to supplement my own ideas, but rather to get a second perspective on it. Based on their lack of one, or inability to have a decent definition without using the word, I feel better about my own ideas.Fear evolved as a tool. The rabbit fears the fox. This is good and healthy and normal, because the rabbit is rather screwed if he thinks he can stand up to a fox. A bunch of rabbits, or rabbit Rambo maybe could, but you catch my drift.But what about excessive fear? Unreasonable fear that takes a grip and doesn't let go? That, it would seem, is an excess of doubt. Think about it, it actually does make sense. Why does that rabbit fear the fox? It doubts, with very good reason, it can survive the encounter. Let's leave phobias out of this for now, as I have an idea that they're rather separate from ordinary fear, but we'll work our way up to that. Now, if you have too much doubt about something, you can come to fear it as those doubt take a grip on some primordial part of our brain that evolved to keep us alive. Fear, for intelligent beings who can fully grasp the situation, is a tool, a warning that their is a potential danger. From there, it should either be heeded or ignored, but always taken note of when it's reasonable.But what about when it gets out of control? When it's not a reasonable fear, or the levels of fear are not reasonable? Take for instance that common college student grip of panic when you suddenly find that you did horribly on something you thought you did excellent on. (Memories of papers and test come flooding back now.) The buildup of doubts about that class, your college career, your ultimate future career, your intelligence, your academic ability, all of that can build up, combine with stress and anxiety, and at the drop of a hat be released in an anxiety attack. But all it is is doubt. Now, what a good friend who has sufficiently thought things through might be able to do is key in on this, and find proof that the doubts are unfounded. Easier said than done, I know. But more to the point, what the stressed individual might do is take time out on a regular basis to re-affirm him- or herself. Having someone to remind you wouldn't be a bad idea either, but only if you can actually believe the person deep down. It's more important to come from yourself. If you don't doubt your own abilities, you should be much less prone to a buildup of fear.Which leaves two big types of fear. Trauma-induced fear and phobias. Not quite the same thing, although they can be very similar. And very difficult and case specific to discuss. As I'm not quite sure what I want to say about phobia fear yet, I'll go to trauma first.Trauma induced fear is, while completely understandable, almost completely unreasonable. I do not mean that there is no reason for it, but it is hard to reason with it. Underneath the fear though, there are issues which the individual may have come to believe is true. This could be "I WILL drown if I go in the water again" or "Someone WILL hurt me again" or "I will crash and die if I EVER drive again," or any of a thousand variations depending on the situation, and surely many different ones in each different situation, the more issues the more catastrophic the event was for the person. With time and counseling, both professional and from friends and loved ones, it is possible to overcome it. But those core doubts are what need to be addressed and fixed in the person's mind. Until he or she believes that they can handle a similar situation should it arise again (or it is not meant to happen again, or they did not deserve it, or they are not being followed everywhere, or what have you), fear will always take a huge grip on their life.Which brings us to phobias. Unlike the trauma-induced fear, it has no rational basis. A fear of spiders despite having never been bitten, or a fear of crowds, or, like me, a fear of small spaces. I still can't go under my damn trailer, and I could barely stick my head under there if I had to. There is absolutely no reasoning with this fear. Nor is there a root cause to address. I do not believe in exposure therapy. I made myself go under this trailer when I was much younger, trying to get a cat out. That just made it much worse afterwards. Of course, watching Kill Bill (2, maybe?) when she gets buried alive, that gives me the creeps, and would be my worst nightmare just about. That didn't help either. But I do not believe that that can be reasoned out of existence, nor that it is based on doubt. I do not doubt that the trailer is not going to suddenly collapse on me if I go under, I'm confident in it's ability to stay standing. Likewise I do not think there is some animal under there that will kill me because I can't get away in time. I'm completely confident in that. But I still can't go under there. I would guess that it is something in the wiring of people's minds that is the root cause of a phobia. And I do not believe that force could do something positive about it.But, on the off chance that anyone this applies to actually will read this, if you have a serious problem with fear, DO NOT TAKE MY WORD FOR ANY OF THIS! I am not a doctor, I have not done more than cursory study of psychology. I'm simply relatively smart, and fairly good with theories, and these are my rambling ideas. Psychologists and psychiatrists can help, and given time, can give you your life back, or just make it better. No, it's not all completely accurate, and it can't be measured. But at least some of what they're doing is right, and talking it out does help. I've been there, I know.And lastly, to the college students that read this... there are two of you I have in mind right now who I know will read this. You are both very smart people, and I have complete confidence in both of you. To the teacher to be: You're great at what you do, every last bit of it. Despite what Napoleon might do or say. You're almost to the finish line, and you'll do great, I have no doubts. To the poli-sci: You're extremely bright, and you have a better handle on just about everything than I could have hoped for when I was your age. A good bit of it you already have a better grip than I do now. I have no worries about your ability to get through everything whatsoever.