Moments in Time

Every so often in a life, not rare but not often, I have a moment that things come into focus with a bit more clarity than usual. These moments condense events and emotions and ideas into a single clear picture. More than a picture, a complete, concise hologram. Where everything is full in the round and whole. I have come to, usually, treasure these moments. Some moments are not so pleasant. Fortunately for me, tonight was one of those good ones.

How to describe one of these moments in time though, that is a difficult task. Words, while dynamic, are still clumsy. So rather than encompass the entire moment at a go, I shall break it down. Compare it to taking photographs of a sculpture from different angles. While it is not nearly the same as experiencing the sculpture in the round, it is an apt description.

My job situation. While it is true that I am still seeking employment... I will find it, when the time is right. Things are tough right now... but wheels are in motion and through persistence I'll eventually find one. I have a good feeling about a few applications lately, so hopefully one will turn up as a go, but if not... I'm a good employee. I'll find something. My pets... are wonderful. They have fleas, but with a few moves I can reduce that greatly, and the flea comb is helping slowly. Distressing them, but they'll adapt, they always do. My family here is a great support to me and will be there when I need them. They understand me, and will be there for me.

My art is on hold at the moment because my life has been changing, but it is about to take off again in, for the moment, two directions. And then the pottery again once I can get a new wheel. But one of the directions is combining the various media I enjoy. I do not know where it will go, but I know it will be good. And the other direction is... as yet to be determined by media. My past has haunted me for over two years now. It defeated me for a long time. Now, I am on the threshold of completely overcoming it. By pushing it, I will. And at that time, I will no longer need to be so vague. While I probably won't bring it up often, I feel it is important to push my art into that direction, and meld it. Both for myself and for others.

Then there is Sparky. Sparky has, true to the name, given some spark back into my life and my heart. He has managed to remind me of things I have long forgotten, about myself, about my beliefs, about my capabilities. Between school and everything else, I had become crushed down and compressed. Sparky, with the advantage of a lessening of my burdens to be fair, has shown me that I can be myself, and all that entails. I want to do more than I've been doing. While I know what some of these things are, not everything should be shared to as broad of an audience as this blog has the potential to reach. I have no clue how many people read this nor who they are with some few exceptions. But those close to me know or can guess some of what I've said and can feel free to ask me if they wish.

Sparky knows me as Michael. That is the name I go by here. It is my name, although not the same that others may know me by. I like going by that name. As I press out with my artistic endeavors I will use this other name... but I want to have Michael as my private name. This blog contains my private thoughts and ideas that I decide to share with whomever wishes to read. But when more sensitive matters come up in my art, I will not be sharing them on this blog. I may send out emails to advise people about things, but I will be starting to segregate parts of my art life out of this blog. I hope that those who read this understand what I mean, or respect my right to separate things out.

This is an awkward way to go about this, I know. But some people I do not talk to as often as I should, and I may forget to discuss certain things with them... but I know that sooner or later they will catch up on this blog and hopefully read this one in particular.

So, despite seeming to have gone off on some tangent, that part was actually part of that moment as well. There was a bit more to it, but that is for a more private conversation with a special someone... and it's nothing we haven't already discussed.

Sparky did make a comment tonight that struck a chord with me. He commented on me being, by nature, a giver. This is true... and I suppose that by pressing myself outward while dividing my life, it is my way of both embracing that nature and protecting myself from it. At least as far as the outside world is concerned.