Phases of my Life

Prior to this point in my life, there have been two main phases of my life, chapters if you will. Perhaps "Books" would be more appropriate, recalling to older books such as the Lord of the Rings trilogy, in which main sections of a novel were separated into "books," although still bound in one cover with one title.

The first phase could be considered my Iron age. What started off normally ended up tarnished, cold, and unyielding. I have long had use for the concept of the totem animal. By the end of these years, the Jaguar had become dominant as my totem. This is represented in my arm band tattoo, featuring a feral cat (it was supposed to be a jaguar, but the ears are that of a panther). While I had friends during this time, few became close to me, and I was overly aggressive towards "outsiders." I wasn't a happy person. This phase ended by the time I hit 18, but had been drawing to a close over the previous few years as the next phase took hold.

This next phase, with the fitting totem of the Phoenix (featured in two tattoos), is the age of Fire. During this time, my life was consumed repeatedly by chaos. My best friend stabbed me in the back, I came out of the closet, I moved to college halfway across the state, my major changed 4 times, transferred schools, I discovered a relative that I didn't know existed (or rather was discovered by one), ended two long term relationships, went through a private hell, and finally moved three states away. Not only is the chaos of fire appropriate, as well as the Phoenix symbolism, but fire can temper metal. Like they say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Now that I have finally had a chance to cool down, if you will, I am starting to stretch out and see just how true it is.

In my gut, I know that this phase of my life, mercifully short, has come to a close. My third (and currently final) totem is finally coming to play, the Gecko. After the anger and the chaos, I more than welcome peace and stability in my life. Hopefully this will be a golden age for me, or a green age where I can continue to grow in peace.