The Pictures we Paint as Ourselves: The Iceberg Theory

Let's talk about our pushed images. Those things we paint as ourselves and present to the world, commonly called fronts. We paint up this pretty image which, generally and relatively, roughly correspond to ourselves. This isn't to say we're lying by any means. We're just presenting parts of ourselves, possibly enhancing certain attributes, in order to (usually) fit more seamlessly into the world around us. Even to the point where we're not sure where this picture ends and we begin. Perhaps this is how we evolve, by changing our pushed image and allowing the us underneath to grow into the mold. I myself find my picture changing, not against my will but not by it either, and I am changing to fit it. The artist growing to fit his portrait, I suppose.

But, to get on with things as I am prone to ramble at 3:30 or so in the morning. It seems that with most everyone, as I know I am very apt about doing, does not simply have a static two dimensional picture which we present. It's far more complex. Each person we encounter comes at us from a slightly different "angle" which includes background, situation, attractiveness (shallow but true), mood, and so on. In response, we subconsciously offer different views of ourself up to this new person. This observation led to my iceberg theory on human psychology. We see only that part of the iceberg which is above water, yes, we all know that. We all saw Titanic, even me, despite my protestations of "I know what happens! The boat hits the iceberg and sinks!" The theory is such that we offer these various different three dimensional views of ourselves as our pushed image. But we also have a pushed image for what lies below the surface and may be hinted at in even relatively simple social interactions. These are typically more accurate to our inner personality, but may be somewhat distorted and view dependent. The VAST majority of who each of us is is safely tucked away under the surface, behind that pushed picture, under the outer skin of ice. So even if every single person you knew casually or semi-casually got together and analyzed you, they would at best have a good idea about your personality. But it would still be slightly off because of the distortion. Now, once you let someone truly inside, only then could they begin to understand you. I believe that this is only possible with a large amount of time, and a great deal of caring. Most people don't care about most other people to even try to understand. It's not being mean, most of us just simply don't have the capacity to psycho-analyze everyone and see how they tick and why they tick. A few people do. They're nice to have around, but then it gets creepy when they start digging in on you. Because despite our nice pushed images, everyone has gaps in the ice, holes in the paint where if you work at it, you can get in to the inner levels and begin to look around. It's a small view, and a lot of work, but even if you're not letting someone in, they could still do it with enough time and insight. I have completely wandered from my point. The point was going to be that despite all this, once you let someone in, it is much easier, but still time consuming to learn to understand them. I used to believe that most people find this and spend their lives learning to understand one person. I now believe that is depressingly rare these days... but I hope to be one of those few. And there's my inner, die-hard optimist rearing his naive head again. But try as I might, the pessimist in me just can't kill it off. I guess I'm just a hopeless romantic.

Eh, forget all this, it's the ramblings of (now) 3:50ish in the morning. Go back to the top and look at the pretty picture.